Why You Should Take a Vacation...Now!

I am back from vacation, and I am here to tell you that You Should Take a Vacation…Now!                                                                                        It has been seven months since the last vacation (outside of Xmas) and I needed it! Life has a tendency to get a little hectic for most of us. In order to deal with all the work commitments; family commitments; relationship commitments, and life commitments, we need to make a commitment to ourselves every once in awhile!                                                                    

What I mean is, you deserve to be well. Find something fun to do. Invite some close, healthy friends with you. Hell, even include your spouse if you two are in a good space.

My husband and I just got back from Playa del Carmen, Mexico, and it was fun. I was able to work on a tan (not like I need one), wrote some amends letters and emailed them out, and made a couple outreach calls for support when I needed it.

We also went to explore a place called Xel-Ha, which is an outdoor aquarium of sorts. I snorkeled for the first time and even got in an inner tube and drifted down the “lazy river.” 

While away, I could feel that “my addict” was lurking around. I found myself triggered by all the beautiful people, but I stayed on my side of the street. No relapses and I am forever grateful.

Being in recovery and taking care of ourselves is essential. I hope that you can find the time and space in your life to take a break. You deserve it.

                                                                

Looking forward to more posts in the coming days! Be well and stay safe, sane, and sober!!

Sincerely, 

Taking a Break

Hi everyone! It is finally time to take a vacation. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing and sharing my thoughts with all of you. I need some time to reflect and get refreshed. It's all about self-care.

I look forward to coming back with all new content in a few weeks. Review the posts from the last two months. See what you can do to help yourself move forward in your personal recovery. I wish you all well.

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely,

Weekend Retreat

This weekend, I would recommend that you take a quick inventory of the current work that you are doing. It is important to always acknowledge your dedication to your personal recovery.

The weekends can be a time for fun, but also a time for reflection. I often give myself time to think about where I currently am in my process.

Am I on the path I outlined?
Am I listening to my Higher Power?
What is my next indicated step?
Do I have all the support that I need?
Do I know where to find the support that I need?
Am I doing the best that I can?

Most often my answer is 'Yes' to the above questions. Sometimes I have to reevaluate.  I wonder what your answers will be?

Spend the weekend enjoying what you have, but also looking at what else you might need.

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely,

Tools of Recovery: Recovery Communities

Good evening! Sorry for such a late post, but I just had a fantastic day with my recovery community. I thought I would share a bit.

I visited my buddy R.'s house for breakfast. He cooked a veggie stir fry with eggs and tofu. It was fantastic. Later we walked out on beach and talked about life, love, and recovery.

For lunch, I met up with my other buddy, P. and we basically talked about the same thing. Both conversations were equally important and seriously valuable. R & P are like my older brothers that I always wanted. I feel safe with these guys. I wasn't always able to say that about friends in my past life.

I have spent the last year and a half embracing these two relationships as the most vulnerable and authentic person I can be. I learn so much about myself since I met R & P.

A few hours later I had a recovery dinner with my sponsor, C., and my sponsee, D. We went to IHOP and shared tons of sweet, salty, and delicious foods. It was so much fun to have all of us under the same roof.

My sponsor and I have been working together a year and half. He's like a brother to me. I love him dearly. My sponsee, D., and I have known each other for several years. He and I have been working hard on his Steps. In a few weeks, he will be doing his 5th Step! Unfortunately, my other sponsee, S., was unavailable. I guess I will just have to plan another outing!

Building a healthy recovery community has been essential to maintaining my sobriety. I have a safe, secure, and loving family that is founded on recovery. I am grateful for them and for my husband and pets. Life in recovery just keeps getting better.

Who's in your recovery community?

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely,

Wisdom Wednesday

Today, I am willing....

• to trust in the process.
• to trust in myself. 
• to state my intentions.
• to take care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 
• to embrace the love the surrounds me. 
• to know my limitations.
• to be compassionate and loving to myself and others. 

Are you willing?

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely, 

Topic Tuesday: Co-Addiction

Co-Addiction

You may have heard that you or someone you know is "co-addicted" to someone else. Co-addiction is synonymous with codependence. Co-addicts attempts to control, manipulate, manage, or stop an addict's behavior. 

As you probably have found out....you can't control another person. We try though. And why do we try so hard? 

Because we learned that we had to control others to protect ourselves. Most of us have been engaging in co-addicted patterns since we were kids. It was the only way we could survive. Surviving is not living, in my opinion. Do you want to live?

If so, be mindful of these co-addicted patterns and characteristics and get help if they are plaguing your life:

1. Try to control another person's thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. 
2. Attempt to manipulate outcomes in order to feel safe.
3. Change your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to benefit another person or persons.
4. Lie to look good. 
5. Deny your true feelings. 
6. Avoid setting healthy boundaries out of fear of rejection
7. Compromise your values and beliefs
8. Engage in self-harming behaviors to get attention 

These are just a couple that came to mind. There are resources for those of us that have a history of being in co-addicted or codependent relationships. Don't stay addicted to another person's addictive behaviors. 

Check out the fellowships of 

Co-Dependents Anonymous 

Al-Anon

CoSA

ACA

Families Anonymous 

Gam-Anon

The list is expansive. Get the help that you need to break the cycle. 

Till tomorrow...stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely, 

Make It Count Monday: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Step Two:Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Higher Power works in mysterious ways and I cannot know all the ways that my Higher Power is working in my life. I do try to take note of the instances that stand out to me and today I got all the messages!

I have been faced with difficult decisions at work. I have struggled. I have lost sleep. I have wrung my hands. But ultimately, I knew that my Higher Power or "HP" would show me the way. I often got in my HP's way while trying to deal with work stress.

I tried to manage, control, and avoid multiple times over. Nothing was working. I felt insane. I prayed for guidance every night. This morning my prayers were answered.

I woke up from a nightmare that was chilling. I was pissed. I already had to get up at 4:30am to get to my 12 Step Meeting by 6pm, so any amount of lost sleep was precious. I couldn't rest after the dreaded nightmare. I got up and contemplated my next move.

Upon arriving at my 12 Step Meeting, I made a decision to stop suffering. I asked for some sign that I was making the right choice. I got out of my car, just like I do every Monday morning, and headed into my meeting. Suddenly, I got this sense to turn around. I did and my eyes couldn't believe what they saw. All the lights on my car were lit up including headlights and break lights.

WTF! I knew it wasn't; it was my Higher Power. My headlights only are operable if the knob is turned on from inside the car. I knew then that my HP was communicating with me. My HP supported my decision.

After sitting anxiously in my meeting, I went to work.  I went in to my office, fired up my laptop and called my best friend. As I was sitting on the phone talking to him I looked at my email and saw Today's Gift from Hazelden. It started with "Our Higher Power is in charge."

I immediately stopped doubting myself. I saw all the signs. I needed to stop and remember Step Two. I have believed in a Higher Power since entering recovery a year and a half ago. I worked Step Two over a year ago. Why was I having a hard time accepting? It's because I am human and I often want to believe I am in control.

With the help of Step Two and the Serenity Prayer, which I recited several times today, I have been able to take care of myself today by addressing my work issues. It was flipping hard work, but I pushed through and accomplished something that I knew I needed to do, but tried my damnedest to avoid.

I am not in control. Higher Power is.

I made my Monday count. How about you?

Sincerely,