A History Lesson

I called my mother today, who lives in Georgia, to inquire about a medical issue I had as a kid. I was curious to see if she could provide some additional information that I may have forgotten or didn't know. Unfortunately, I am dealing with that issue again as an adult.

My mother and I have had a tumultuous past, but being in recovery has taught me to forgive and move forward. I believe my Higher Power guided me to making the phone call. I didn't pre-judge her or assume that she wouldn't know anything about my medical history, based on our history. This was definitely new, healthier behavior for me.

I took the chance and called. She was sleep. She told me she would call back and she did. I was grateful she kept her word. I told her thanks for calling back and then I began with my inquiry.

My ears and my heart almost shutdown after I was told that I didn't have the particular medical issue when I was a child but much later in my life as a teen. I was floored and hurt. Had she rewritten history? Had I not suffered like I so clearly remember? Was she even present back then?

In that moment, I breathed. I managed to stay composed and gave her my recollection of the past and she disagreed. I didn't fight back.

Recovery has taught me that I don't need to cross my side of the street to tell someone else that he or she is wrong. I can accept their truth and my own.

I was sad. I immediately texted my sponsor to tell him how I was feeling. I didn't need to hide my feelings. I didn't need to keep everything bottled up and explode later.

I allowed my higher power to guide me and I ended up here, writing and sharing my truth with all of you. 

In your past or present, you may find that someone may recall events differently. It can be frustrating, maddening, or make you sad. It's alright. Your feelings are valid. We can't make other people see what we see. We have to continue loving and believing in who we are. We are now responsible for what happens next.

Recovery is the way. I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut two years ago. I would have hurt my mom and myself by lashing out. It's just not worth it. Remember whose side of the street you are on before you say one more word.

Be good to yourselves.

Sincerely,

DJ Burr