Tool: Sponsorship

spon·sor (sp n s r) n. 1. One who assumes responsibility for another person or a group during a period of instruction, apprenticeship, or probation.

In 12 Step fellowships, a sponsor is a valuable tool. Sponsors help you stay accountable to yourself, your Higher Power, and to your program of recovery. Having a sponsor helps you not feel so alone in the process of recovery. 

It is recommended that you find someone in your program that you can connect with, based on what you have heard him or her share. Men are recommended to have a male sponsor and women a female sponsor. This helps prevent any issues that may arise related to sexual interest. Being a recovery program is about working the program, not finding a partner. 

Once you identify someone that you think you can connect with, invite that person to tea or coffee and ask if he or she is available to sponsor. If he or she is available, you most likely will start your sponsorship relationship off with some guidelines. 

I met my sponsor a couple of year ago. We had tea and he gave me his guidelines. 

1. Daily contact for first 90 days
2. Weekly face to face meeting
3. Weekly step work out of the Big Book
4. Attend at least two meetings a week

And that was just the beginning. Our relationships has been one of the most genuine and caring relationships I have ever had. My sponsor has shown me the path of recovery and walks with me. During our first 90 days of sponsorship, I was able to connect with him and share all of my fear, hope, shame, anxiety, anger, stress--you name it. My sponsor was there as a supportive ear and guide to help me through very difficult times. I am forever grateful to him. 

You can have this experience too. You may not find it right away. You may have trial a couple different people to find the right sponsor for you. It's okay. And you can always look forward to the opportunity of becoming a sponsor yourself. It's an amazing role to be a sponsor. I enjoy the work I have with my sponsees. It's all a process and when you are ready the path is right in front of you. 

Sincerely,