Tool: Meetings

I always hesitated when it came to attending 12 Step meetings. I was afraid of being judged, laughed at, or shamed because I couldn't figure my life out. I made up in my mind that going to a meeting was a scary endeavor. Boy, was I wrong!

Anonymous group meetings have been happening for over 70 years. That's a lot of meetings. I am grateful for the opportunity to attend meetings today. New comers and old-timers alike will all have varying experiences when it comes to attending a meeting. 

There are so many options to choose from. You may attend an all men or all women group. You can attend groups focused on studying the Big Book of their respective fellowship. There are even groups for those of us that identify as gay, lesbian, etc. Some meetings are "Open", which means that anyone can attend. "Closed" meetings imply that the people attended need to identify as needing the meeting. Outside observers are asked to only attend "Open" meetings. 

A meeting exists if you want it. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be face to face. Over the last few years, meetings online have cropped up. Some fellowships even offer Skype meetings. I once attended a phone meeting. It was set up exactly like a face to face meeting. 

The traditional meeting format may look similar to this outline:

1. Welcome by meeting leader
2. Everyone that wants to introduces themselves...."Hi, I'm____ and I am a_____."
3. Literature of the program is read
4. Meeting open for sharing 
5. Close with the Serenity Prayer
6. Fellowship (gathering of members outside of the meeting to chat, have tea, etc.)

I ran a meeting for 8 months for the fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous. It was an amazing experience. Being in a meeting allows me the freedom to speak my truth without judgment, shame, or harm. I have always felt safe in a meeting. 

If you are ready to attend a meeting but are fearful about what the experience may look like, I would recommend finding an "Open" meeting, which means anyone can attend. Ask a friend or support person to go with you. He or she doesn't have to participate, but you can have someone in the room that you know and can feel comfortable with. Be patient with yourself. You will know when you are ready. 

Here are some links to 12 Step fellowships: AA, NA, SLAA, CoDA, GA

Sincerely,