Tool: Higher Power

I searched online to get a sense of what the Internet has on "Higher Power" and I found a Wikipedia article that says, "In current twelve-step program usage a higher power can be anything at all that the member believes is adequate. Reported examples include their twelve-step group, Nature, consciousness, existential freedom, God, science, Buddha. It is frequently stipulated that as long as a higher power is "greater" than the individual, then the only condition is that it should also be loving and caring."

A belief in a power greater than ourselves is fundamental in 12 Step recovery. It is also one of the most controversial topics for new members. In my experience, new comers are weary of the concept of a "Higher Power" because their first belief stems from their own beliefs about religion. Some believe that "Higher Power" is a religious concept, but in fact it is a spiritual concept. Having a belief in a "Higher Power" is not a belief in a religion. 

When joining the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, I believed that I couldn't get anything from the program because it required that I buy into Step Three:

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God."

At the time, I didn't understand God! In fact, I grew up angry with God because of all the chaos that ensued my childhood. I didn't believe any God would love me, so why would I believe the program would accept me. My view of spirituality, God, and a loving Higher Power was skewed. It took attending meetings and meeting with a sponsor to get clarity.

I learned that Higher Power or God was not my parent's or family's view of God, but my own. I could envision a loving, caring, protective Higher Power as the one that I would turn my will and life over to. This was not easy by any means. I struggled for many months. My sponsor encouraged me to be open minded. I didn't need rush my process. I needed to accept that in order to receive all the benefits of the program, I had to believe in something greater than myself and of my family.

I started to believe that I obviously couldn't be my own Higher Power. I had thought I ran the show of my life but consequentially my life was unmanageable and I was powerless of my addiction. I didn't believe that my family's God was loving or forgiving so I stayed far away from their ideal. If all else had failed, why not try something new---so I did.

Like the Wikipedia article referenced, a "Higher Power" can be nature, a 12 Step group, or science! I connected with animals. I have always been intrigued by the power of the white tiger. Since I was a kid, I have seen all tigers as majestic, loving beings. And they are greater than myself. I have seen tigers love and protect their young on documentaries and visits to the zoo. I figured---why not believe that Higher Power has been present in my life in the form of tigers--my most beloved animal in the entire world.

The one thing that I want you to clearly get is this: a loving and caring Higher Power has to be greater than yourself and of your parents. Your parents may tried to play the role of your Higher Power--leading you to believe they were all knowing and infallible, but that's just not true. They are just like you: perfectly imperfect and that's okay. Find something you can connect with and believe in the process of recovery.

Learn more about Higher Power with these articles:

"A Higher Power for Atheists and Agnostics" by Roger Bissell http://www.rogerbissell.com/id11mm.html

"Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" http://www.bahaistudies.net/asma/12and12.pdf

"Sober For Thirty Years" by Jim Burwell http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaburwell30.html

Sincerely,