Step Three Prayer

I wanted to share a couple of Step Three prayers to you. These are from various Twelve Step Programs that I thought would be helpful as we close out March this week, which represents our Third Step.

CoDA Third Step Prayer:

In this moment, I can choose my own
Higher Power. I can set aside all the
old beliefs about who I am not and
be who I am—a child of God. I can
remind myself that a faith in a Higher
Power becomes a faith in me, and
that my recovery lies in being true to
myself and to my Higher Power
-CoDependents Anonymous, Tools for Recovery, CoDA Step Prayers

AA Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee-

To build with me

and to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self,

that I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties,

that victory over them may bear witness

to those I would help of Thy Power,

Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.

May I do Thy will always!

Page 63, AA Big Book © Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

God,

I offer my _________ (fill in the blank: food addiction, compulsive eating, fear, other character defect) to you to build with it and to do with it as you will. Relieve me of the bondage of _________(fill in the blank as before), that I may better do your will. Take away my ___________ (fill in the blank as before), that victory over it/them may bear witness to those I would help of your power, love and way of life.

May I do your will always.

What do you think? I like the third option. It's good to be able to "fill in" my own addiction. It helps me stay focused. I am going to try out this prayer for the next few days and see how I like it. 

I hope you have all had a lovely March. The weather has been pretty good here in the Seattle metro area. I am looking forward to more sun. :)

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely, 

www.ableseattle.com
@A_B_L_E_Seattle
www.facebook.com/ablecounseling

Step Three

We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him 
- A.A. Big Book p.63 

 I wanted to focus on Step Three in greater detail because it is very important Step in my opinion. Step Three calls for those of us in recovery  to: 

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God

This is one of the most challenging Steps. What does "Made a decision" mean in this Step?

I think we have to explore our histories a bit. In our "acting out" behaviors, we made a lot of decisions that may or may not been detrimental to ourselves, or another. We believed that we were in control when the time came to decide how we would "act out", whether it is with drugs, sex, porn, alcohol, or food. 

Most often, we were not in control. Our "addict" mind was in control. We didn't make a decision then, but we can now. Step Three allows for the opportunity to make a conscious decision "to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God" because we need to. Our addict had already been in control and screwed up our lives; what about a fresh start by believing our Higher Power or God could do something different?

The word “God” often throws people off from the Twelve Steps. Why is that? Some believe that “God” is focused on religion. Most of us have had negative experiences with religion. The Twelve Step philosophy isn’t religion; its spiritual. And the best part about Step Three is that you get understand “God” on your own terms!

Now, that’s a relief. I don’t have to believe what the right-winged have to say about God. I don’t have to believe what my family says about God. I don’t have to believe what society believes about God. I get to decide what God means to me. When it was thoroughly explained to me by those in the program, I rejoiced because I could stop living out other people’s stuff and focus on myself. I was grateful!

Step Three also requires us to let go of control. Many of us exert control in order to stay safe. 

“Let go and let God.”

What comes up for you around letting go of control? 

Stay safe, sane, and sober.

Sincerely,

www.ableseattle.com
www.facebook.com/ablecounseling
@A_B_L_E_Seattle
@DJBURR1022

Make It Count Monday: Step Two & Sanity

Good evening, everyone! It's Monday! Did you make it count? We are still focusing on Step Two for the month of February, which reads: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Last week, we talked about developing a relationship with a Higher Power. 

I thought we would focus on the concept of "sanity." 

To me, it means:

1. Having a peace of mind
2. Believing in the process of life
3. Being out of active addiction
4. Believing in myself
5. Understanding that I am not in control
6. Understanding that I don't have to be controlled. 

Working Step Two allowed me to see my side of the street and also Higher Power's side of the street. I can only control my part of the problems that life brings. It's a process, not an event. 

What does "sanity" mean to you?

Have a fantastic week. Stay safe, sane, and sober.

Sincerely, 

12 Step Prayers

The week is almost over! I wanted my followers with some helpful 12 Step Prayers. I have found these to be necessary in my time of recovery.

STEP 1 PRAYER

Dear Lord,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand
The true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction.

STEP 2 PRAYER

Heavenly Father,
I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought &
Addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit & restore in me a clear mind.

STEP 3 PRAYER

God,
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me & to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
That victory over them may bear witness
To those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy love & Thy way of life,
May I do Thy will always!

STEP 4 PRAYER

Dear God,
It is I who has made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine &
I will begin a searching & fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs
But I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

STEP 5 PRAYER

Higher Power,
My inventory has shown me who I am,
Yet I ask for Your help
In admitting my wrongs to another person & to You.
Assure me, & be with me, in this Step,
For without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery.
With Your help, I can do this, & I do it.

STEP 6 PRAYER

Dear God,
I am ready for Your help
In removing from me the defects of character
Which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery.
Help me to continue being honest with myself &
Guide me toward spiritual & mental health.

STEP 7 PRAYER

My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good & bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
Which stands in the way of my usefulness to you & my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding.

STEP 8 PRAYER

Higher Power,
I ask Your help in making my list of all those I have harmed.
I will take responsibility for my mistakes &
Be forgiving to others as You are forgiving to me.
Grant me the willingness to begin my restitution.
This I pray.

STEP 9 PRAYER

Higher Power,
I pray for the right attitude to make my amends,
Being ever mindful not to harm others in the process.
I ask for Your guidance in making indirect amends.
Most important, I will continue to make amends
By staying abstinent, helping others &
Growing in spiritual progress.

STEP 10 PRAYER

I pray I may continue:
To grow in understanding & effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative &
Self-defeating attitudes & behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love & tolerance of others as my code; &
To continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You,
My Higher Power.

STEP 11 PRAYER

Higher Power, as I understand You,
I pray to keep my connection with You
Open & clear from the confusion of daily life.
Through my prayers & meditation I ask especially for
Freedom from self-will, rationalization, & wishful thinking.
I pray for the guidance of correct thought & positive action.
Your will Higher Power, not mine, be done.

STEP 12 PRAYER

Dear God,
My spiritual awakening continues to unfold.
The help I have received I shall pass on & give to others,
Both in & out of the Fellowship.
For this opportunity I am grateful.
I pray most humbly to continue walking day by day
On the road of spiritual progress.
I pray for the inner strength & wisdom
To practice the principles of this way of life in all I do & say.
I need You, my friends, & the program every hour of every day.
This is a better way to live.

I hope these prayers help you in your journey! Stay safe, sane, and sober. 

Sincerely, 

Make It Count Monday: Step Two & Higher Power

Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 

Working this step causes difficulty for most people entering in to recovery programs. Having a belief in a Higher Power is generally thought to have religious connotations, which is a big "hell no" for those of us who had religion shoved down our throats by our families of origin. Who would want to revisit the teachings we had learned to run away from. 

In my experience, I thought that a Higher Power was critical, judgmental, harsh, and punishing. At least that's what I heard while I sat in the pews at my family's Baptist church. Granted, I didn't want to be there in the first place. Nor did anyone explain to me what was being said. I guess I was expected to just know what it all meant. Well, I didn't. 

I spent many years staying in this judgmental space about religion and spirituality, so when I entered the rooms of recovery, I walked back out. Yes, I walked out thinking that there was no way I was going to put myself in harms way. I didn't want to be judged. I wanted to be loved. 

I am grateful that I had a therapist that kept on me to give the meetings a chance. As I sat in the rooms, I begin to hear powerful stories about what a Higher Power meant for others. I began to develop a sense of what a Higher Power could mean to me. 

One of the most powerful statements that I have heard about a Higher Power, which I have adopted in my therapy practice as well as my recovery practice is, "A Higher Power is greater than you and your parents." I got that loud and clear!! It made sense. 

I was no longer afraid. As a result of not being afraid, I began to recognize that I wasn't my own Higher Power, either. Eureka! Thank goodness for sharing in meetings. 

Check out this quick video by Robert Burney. He talks about Higher Power in his recovery.

I love this quote: "If everything happens for a reason, I don't have the power to screw up the plan!" Brilliant.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts about a developing a relationship with a Higher Power.

Learn more about Higher Power with these articles:

"A Higher Power for Atheists and Agnostics" by Roger Bissell http://www.rogerbissell.com/id11mm.html

"Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" http://www.bahaistudies.net/asma/12and12.pdf

"Sober For Thirty Years" by Jim Burwell http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaburwell30.html

Sincerely,

Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend!! I have some books for you. Alright, so after this post you may now refer to me as Pia Mellody's biggest fan! I just have to let you know about the best book I have ever read about codependence: Facing Codependence! I credit this book and author with getting me on the path to recovery.

It all started when my sponsor recommended it. I told myself that I wasn't a book reader so why bother, but I am glad I didn't listen to that negative internal voice. Of course I am a book reader. Hell, I am even a book writer.

I started down the journey of reading Facing Codependence and it was hard! The material was so true to my core that it was so difficult to stomach at times. Pia Mellody truly captures that essence of what codependence is, where it comes from, how it can destroy lives, and most importantly, how to recover from it. She highlights topics including setting functional boundaries, self esteem, family of origin, and much more!

After completing the book and reviewing the companion workbook, Breaking Free, I started a six month therapeutic treatment group at my counseling practice using the tools that Pia laid out. Phenomenal success! I know that these two resources will give you what you need on your journey.

Enjoy your weekend!

Sincerely,

Topic Tuesday: Denial

Denial is not a river in Egypt. Denial is an insidious, often debilitating psychological defense mechanism. When you're in denial, you:

• Refuse to acknowledge a stressful problem or situation
• Avoid facing the facts of the situation
• Minimize the consequences of the situation

Denial is an unconscious process.

When we are talking about addiction issues, denial, can be deadly. I often work with clients that experience denial on various levels. One person may have difficulty accepting that he/she is powerless over alcohol, but is able to see just how meth is killing his/her soul. Another client may believe that his/her codependent patterns and characteristics are manageable and is oblivious to the fact that his/her relationship is over; job has been terminated due to sleeping with the boss for a promotion, and the bank account is empty. Denial!

Don’t let denial keep you from the path of recovery. Get help if you aren’t sure if you are experiencing denial. Most often it takes a leap of faith and a tiny bit of trust to allow a close friend, therapist, or member of a 12 Step program to highlight the denial that you just can’t face. You are not alone. 

Sincerely, 

Step One: The Power of Attending Meetings & Prayer

Battling addictions can be an exhaustive process that can leave you feeling hopeless and scared. The power of the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, etc., provides hope and encouragement.  

Attending meetings may be scary at first, but once you sit down and listen to others share their courage, strength, and hope, you will come to see that you are not alone. Recovery doesn't have to be an isolative process.  

Opening up about your experience brings a sense of belonging among group members. Often times, group members meet afterwards for Fellowship at a local coffee shop or diner. Here, you can talk about who you are, where you're from, where you want to go, anything! Building connections with others opens new, healthier avenues. You will learn what it means to be a part of a community that is loving and forgiving. That's something that addicts don't always know is available.  

You may also find solace in prayer. Some may believe that "God" or "Higher Power" doesn't really exist or want to help, but that's the addict controlling the situation. You get to decide what type of relationship you have with a power greater than yourself. Till then, look to the Serenity Prayer or First Step Prayer for guidance.  

Serenity Prayer

God (Higher Power), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.  

First Step Prayer 

Today, I ask for help with my addiction. Denial has kept me from seeing how powerless I am and how my life is  unmanageable. I need to learn and remember that I have an incurable illness and that abstinence is the only way to deal with it. 

Sincerely, 

Tool: Higher Power

I searched online to get a sense of what the Internet has on "Higher Power" and I found a Wikipedia article that says, "In current twelve-step program usage a higher power can be anything at all that the member believes is adequate. Reported examples include their twelve-step group, Nature, consciousness, existential freedom, God, science, Buddha. It is frequently stipulated that as long as a higher power is "greater" than the individual, then the only condition is that it should also be loving and caring."

A belief in a power greater than ourselves is fundamental in 12 Step recovery. It is also one of the most controversial topics for new members. In my experience, new comers are weary of the concept of a "Higher Power" because their first belief stems from their own beliefs about religion. Some believe that "Higher Power" is a religious concept, but in fact it is a spiritual concept. Having a belief in a "Higher Power" is not a belief in a religion. 

When joining the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, I believed that I couldn't get anything from the program because it required that I buy into Step Three:

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God."

At the time, I didn't understand God! In fact, I grew up angry with God because of all the chaos that ensued my childhood. I didn't believe any God would love me, so why would I believe the program would accept me. My view of spirituality, God, and a loving Higher Power was skewed. It took attending meetings and meeting with a sponsor to get clarity.

I learned that Higher Power or God was not my parent's or family's view of God, but my own. I could envision a loving, caring, protective Higher Power as the one that I would turn my will and life over to. This was not easy by any means. I struggled for many months. My sponsor encouraged me to be open minded. I didn't need rush my process. I needed to accept that in order to receive all the benefits of the program, I had to believe in something greater than myself and of my family.

I started to believe that I obviously couldn't be my own Higher Power. I had thought I ran the show of my life but consequentially my life was unmanageable and I was powerless of my addiction. I didn't believe that my family's God was loving or forgiving so I stayed far away from their ideal. If all else had failed, why not try something new---so I did.

Like the Wikipedia article referenced, a "Higher Power" can be nature, a 12 Step group, or science! I connected with animals. I have always been intrigued by the power of the white tiger. Since I was a kid, I have seen all tigers as majestic, loving beings. And they are greater than myself. I have seen tigers love and protect their young on documentaries and visits to the zoo. I figured---why not believe that Higher Power has been present in my life in the form of tigers--my most beloved animal in the entire world.

The one thing that I want you to clearly get is this: a loving and caring Higher Power has to be greater than yourself and of your parents. Your parents may tried to play the role of your Higher Power--leading you to believe they were all knowing and infallible, but that's just not true. They are just like you: perfectly imperfect and that's okay. Find something you can connect with and believe in the process of recovery.

Learn more about Higher Power with these articles:

"A Higher Power for Atheists and Agnostics" by Roger Bissell http://www.rogerbissell.com/id11mm.html

"Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" http://www.bahaistudies.net/asma/12and12.pdf

"Sober For Thirty Years" by Jim Burwell http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaburwell30.html

Sincerely,

Tool: Sponsorship

spon·sor (sp n s r) n. 1. One who assumes responsibility for another person or a group during a period of instruction, apprenticeship, or probation.

In 12 Step fellowships, a sponsor is a valuable tool. Sponsors help you stay accountable to yourself, your Higher Power, and to your program of recovery. Having a sponsor helps you not feel so alone in the process of recovery. 

It is recommended that you find someone in your program that you can connect with, based on what you have heard him or her share. Men are recommended to have a male sponsor and women a female sponsor. This helps prevent any issues that may arise related to sexual interest. Being a recovery program is about working the program, not finding a partner. 

Once you identify someone that you think you can connect with, invite that person to tea or coffee and ask if he or she is available to sponsor. If he or she is available, you most likely will start your sponsorship relationship off with some guidelines. 

I met my sponsor a couple of year ago. We had tea and he gave me his guidelines. 

1. Daily contact for first 90 days
2. Weekly face to face meeting
3. Weekly step work out of the Big Book
4. Attend at least two meetings a week

And that was just the beginning. Our relationships has been one of the most genuine and caring relationships I have ever had. My sponsor has shown me the path of recovery and walks with me. During our first 90 days of sponsorship, I was able to connect with him and share all of my fear, hope, shame, anxiety, anger, stress--you name it. My sponsor was there as a supportive ear and guide to help me through very difficult times. I am forever grateful to him. 

You can have this experience too. You may not find it right away. You may have trial a couple different people to find the right sponsor for you. It's okay. And you can always look forward to the opportunity of becoming a sponsor yourself. It's an amazing role to be a sponsor. I enjoy the work I have with my sponsees. It's all a process and when you are ready the path is right in front of you. 

Sincerely, 

Topic Tuesday: Codependence

Codependence is a deeply rooted, compulsive behavior that is born out of a less than nurturing or abusive environment in childhood. A child’s emotional development may be stunted due to the lack of nurturance, love, guidance, support, and direction that his/her parents are supposed to impart on the child’s life.

As a result of growing up in this environment, a child develops into an adult who may display some or all of the characteristics outlined below. Codependents:

•         may not be aware of how they feel.
•         tend to fear and/or worry how others may respond to their feelings.
•        are not aware of their needs and wants.
•         have difficulty having fun.
•         judge themselves and/or others harshly.
•         are terrified of being left or abandoned
•         over react to changes over which we do not have any control.
•         are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
•        freely offer advice to others without being asked.

The major characteristics of codependence fall into four categories: control, compliance, low self-esteem, and denial. The fellowship of Codependents Anonymous has a self-evaluation tool. Talk with a therapist or attend a CoDA meeting for a safe place to explore your codependence.

Here is the link to the fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous.

Sincerely,

Step One: Powerless & Unmanageability

Admitting powerlessness is absolutely essential to breaking the addiction cycle, which is made up of five points:

1. Pain
2. Reaching out to an addictive agent, such as work, food, sex, alcohol, or dependent relationships to salve our pain
3. Temporary anesthesia
4. Negative consequences
5. Shame and guilt, which result in more pain or low self-esteem

For example, the workaholic who has low self-esteem (pain) begins to overwork (addictive agent), which results in praise, success, and achievement (relief). However, as a rule, family relationships and his personal relationship with God suffer terribly because of preoccupation with work (negative consequences). The result is an even greater sense of shame and guilt because of inadequacies, both real and imagined, which brings him back to point 1 in the addiction cycle. Now the workaholic feels compelled to work even harder to overcome his guilt. 

Understanding the addiction cycle is important because it helps explain why for both the Oxford Group and for Bill Wilson, the admission of powerlessness is the first step to recovery. Otherwise, we remain caught. If we rely on willpower alone, then the only thing we know to do is to escalate our addiction to get out of the pain. Step 1 calls us to do less - to yield, to surrender, to let go. - Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p. 22-23.

Unmanageability looks different for each person. Life became unmanageable for me when I:

1. would abandon my job and pursue my addiction at all times of day and night.
2. hooked up with other people, leaving my husband at home wondering where I was and if I were safe.
3. couldn't make a decision that wasn't tied to whether or not I would get sex, attention, or "love" from someone else.
4. had unprotected sex because I stopped caring about whether I lived or died.

Unmanageability can take people to the extremes. I have worked with people that stopped eating because they believed themselves to be fat and thought starvation was their only option; people that had non stop sexual encounters till their bodies gave out, because they felt like crap and just wanted to feel wanted; and some even drank themselves into a black out, hoping to never wake up to deal with the consequences of their actions. Scary stuff!

The 12 Steps and all the anonymous programs are beneficial to breaking the addictive cycle and regaining manageability in people's lives.

Questions to Consider
1. How would you summarize the powerlessness and unmanageability of your life in the face of your addiction?
2. Describe any irrational or crazy set of events that have happened since you began you addictive behavior. Did you rationalize this behavior? If so, in what way?
3. Describe attempts that you have made in the past to control your addictive behaviors.How successful have they been? Do these attempts show the powerlessness that you have over your addictive behaviors?

Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend! I hope that your week has been pleasurable. Let's get ready for the weekend by looking at some suggested activities for you to engage in.

Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction first got on my radar when I was watching Lifetime TV. The movie was based on the book and I loved it! It starred Sally Pressman from one of my favorite shows, Army Wives, so I was hooked from the moment it came on.

Sue William Silverman provides readers a look at sexual addiction from a woman's point of view. I quickly ordered the book after watching the movie.

Here's what I found on Amazon.com about this book:

This compelling story of recovery takes us through 28 days in an inpatient clinic for female sex addicts. Silverman explores the psychology of addiction on a deeply personal level, sharing her struggles with self-destructive tendencies and her desperate desire to be loved, no matter what the cost. Molested repeatedly by her father during her childhood, she realizes the connection between her sexual abuse and her desire to be loved by dangerous, inaccessible men. She finds she must come to terms with anger at her mother, who refused to recognize the sexual abuse of her daughters and intervene on their behalf. Candid, emotionally raw, often frightening, Silverman's account is never sugarcoated, and there are no happy platitudes or breezy success stories in it. It is deeply moving, however, and should inspire anyone going through a 12-step program, whether for sexual addiction or other conditions, and help addicts' friends and family members understand the journey their loved ones must travel in order to heal. Bonnie Johnston
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Topic Tuesday: The 12 Steps of Recovery

The 12 Steps are the foundation of all anonymous programs. As summarized by the American Psychological Association, the process involves the following:

* admitting that one cannot control one’s addiction or compulsion;
* recognizing a higher power that can give strength;
* examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
* making amends for these errors;
* learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
* helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions

The Steps were pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935 and adopted by other fellowships including Codependents Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous.

Click the links for more information.

* Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable.
* Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
* Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
* Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
* Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
* Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
* Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
* Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
* Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
* Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
* Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
* Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I have been working the steps for some time now and I have to say that I do not believe I would be sober from my addictions without the program. The 12 Steps have provided guidance, support, and structure. It has been a worthwhile process to learn about the benefits of a spiritual program. I have developed a relationship with a power greater than myself and I feel safe.

I hope that you will take a look at The 12 Steps and find the courage, strength, and hope that I found by working the steps. Good luck. “It works if you work it.”

Sincerely,

Step One: The Facts

Step One: We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction-that our lives had become unmanageable.

In the rooms of recovery, I have often heard "The Steps are the Steps" meaning that The 12 Steps, pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous, can be applied to any addictive process that one may be experiencing difficulty over.

Step One is our gateway to freedom. In this step, we have come to the conclusion that whatever our addiction is (alcohol, sex, drugs, relationships, shopping, masturbation, etc) we no longer have the ability to control ourselves. The substance or process has control over us. As a result of that control, our lives have spun out and are no longer manageable.

For today, ask yourself about your own addictive process.

1. What substances and/or processes do I feel no control over?
2. What consequences have I suffered?
3. Am I ready to admit that my life has become unmanageable?

Sincerely,