Tools of Recovery Thursday

Today, I got the pleasure to help a sponsee create  a "recovery schedule/calendar". It is a calendar of your day to day activities like work/school, family time and all your recovery activities, too.

Early in recovery, you may need guidance and direction by those that have done it already. We aren't perfect, but maybe we know what it takes. Don't hesitate to ask for help. Waiting may cost you your job, family, or life.

I recommend having a recovery schedule for anyone that is struggling to obtain or maintain sobriety.

What's your calendar look like?

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely,

@A_B_L_E_Seattle
@DJBURR1022
www.ableseattle.com
www.facebook.com/ablecounseling

Tools of Recovery: Recovery Communities

Good evening! Sorry for such a late post, but I just had a fantastic day with my recovery community. I thought I would share a bit.

I visited my buddy R.'s house for breakfast. He cooked a veggie stir fry with eggs and tofu. It was fantastic. Later we walked out on beach and talked about life, love, and recovery.

For lunch, I met up with my other buddy, P. and we basically talked about the same thing. Both conversations were equally important and seriously valuable. R & P are like my older brothers that I always wanted. I feel safe with these guys. I wasn't always able to say that about friends in my past life.

I have spent the last year and a half embracing these two relationships as the most vulnerable and authentic person I can be. I learn so much about myself since I met R & P.

A few hours later I had a recovery dinner with my sponsor, C., and my sponsee, D. We went to IHOP and shared tons of sweet, salty, and delicious foods. It was so much fun to have all of us under the same roof.

My sponsor and I have been working together a year and half. He's like a brother to me. I love him dearly. My sponsee, D., and I have known each other for several years. He and I have been working hard on his Steps. In a few weeks, he will be doing his 5th Step! Unfortunately, my other sponsee, S., was unavailable. I guess I will just have to plan another outing!

Building a healthy recovery community has been essential to maintaining my sobriety. I have a safe, secure, and loving family that is founded on recovery. I am grateful for them and for my husband and pets. Life in recovery just keeps getting better.

Who's in your recovery community?

Stay safe, sane, and sober!

Sincerely,

Weekend Retreat

I began my recovery journey with the help of all the books by Pia Mellody. She is an expert on codependence, addiction, and recovery. In her book, The Intimacy Factor, Pia gives readers insight into dealing with relationships: what makes them and what breaks them.

I highly recommend this book if you are looking to understand relationship dynamics. Being in a relationship while in recovery can be very tricky if you don't have an understanding of the basics: boundaries, communication, expectations, and respect. Don't go it alone. Give this book a good read and take notes. My copy is highlighted. :)


In 2013, I saw one of the best movies on addiction, "Thanks for sharing". It is a phenomenal movie starring Hollywood heavy weights, Mark Ruffalo, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Tim Robbins. The movie shares the emotional and psychological ups and downs of several folks in recovery for sex addiction.

It shows how individuals in recovery groups can find the family that we often don't have before recovery. The movie is fun, funny, compassionate, and endearing. I love all the characters and storylines. Invite some friends over and give it a view!

Whatever you decide to do this week, do something fun, relaxing, and on the path of recovery.

Sincerely,

                                                                                                                               

Tool: Sponsorship

spon·sor (sp n s r) n. 1. One who assumes responsibility for another person or a group during a period of instruction, apprenticeship, or probation.

In 12 Step fellowships, a sponsor is a valuable tool. Sponsors help you stay accountable to yourself, your Higher Power, and to your program of recovery. Having a sponsor helps you not feel so alone in the process of recovery. 

It is recommended that you find someone in your program that you can connect with, based on what you have heard him or her share. Men are recommended to have a male sponsor and women a female sponsor. This helps prevent any issues that may arise related to sexual interest. Being a recovery program is about working the program, not finding a partner. 

Once you identify someone that you think you can connect with, invite that person to tea or coffee and ask if he or she is available to sponsor. If he or she is available, you most likely will start your sponsorship relationship off with some guidelines. 

I met my sponsor a couple of year ago. We had tea and he gave me his guidelines. 

1. Daily contact for first 90 days
2. Weekly face to face meeting
3. Weekly step work out of the Big Book
4. Attend at least two meetings a week

And that was just the beginning. Our relationships has been one of the most genuine and caring relationships I have ever had. My sponsor has shown me the path of recovery and walks with me. During our first 90 days of sponsorship, I was able to connect with him and share all of my fear, hope, shame, anxiety, anger, stress--you name it. My sponsor was there as a supportive ear and guide to help me through very difficult times. I am forever grateful to him. 

You can have this experience too. You may not find it right away. You may have trial a couple different people to find the right sponsor for you. It's okay. And you can always look forward to the opportunity of becoming a sponsor yourself. It's an amazing role to be a sponsor. I enjoy the work I have with my sponsees. It's all a process and when you are ready the path is right in front of you. 

Sincerely,