Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend; to the end of January; and to the start of February!! I hope you all have been doing well. I have gotten a lot of great feedback about the posts, especially Weekend Retreat. Thank you :)

I love telling people about available resources. Just as much as I love having things to do over the weekend that coincide with my recovery process.  A few months ago, I stumbled upon one of the most heart warming films that I have ever seen and I was pleasantly surprised that it starred one of my favorite actors, Bruce Willis. The film is called Disney's The Kid.

In the flick, Bruce's 40-year-old character is brought face to face with his younger self. He learns a valuable lesson from his childhood, that I think we all could benefit from; we are never too old to heal old wounds.

In recovery, healing our 'inner child' is often talked about subject. The work involves looking at the painful past; identifying what really happened; identifying the feelings we had way back then; and then look how it impacts us in the present. I cried while watching so you may want to have your Kleenex handy!

The other option you have for this week is to read Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie. Most people in recovery circles have read this eye opening book on codependence. Melody has been providing readers tons of information on the topic for decades. Her books have sold millions! You may even read her daily affirmations that can be found online or in several books. To find out more about Melody check out her website.

Whatever you decide to do this weekend, remember to love yourself!


Sincerely,

Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend!! I have some books for you. Alright, so after this post you may now refer to me as Pia Mellody's biggest fan! I just have to let you know about the best book I have ever read about codependence: Facing Codependence! I credit this book and author with getting me on the path to recovery.

It all started when my sponsor recommended it. I told myself that I wasn't a book reader so why bother, but I am glad I didn't listen to that negative internal voice. Of course I am a book reader. Hell, I am even a book writer.

I started down the journey of reading Facing Codependence and it was hard! The material was so true to my core that it was so difficult to stomach at times. Pia Mellody truly captures that essence of what codependence is, where it comes from, how it can destroy lives, and most importantly, how to recover from it. She highlights topics including setting functional boundaries, self esteem, family of origin, and much more!

After completing the book and reviewing the companion workbook, Breaking Free, I started a six month therapeutic treatment group at my counseling practice using the tools that Pia laid out. Phenomenal success! I know that these two resources will give you what you need on your journey.

Enjoy your weekend!

Sincerely,

Topic Tuesday: Denial

Denial is not a river in Egypt. Denial is an insidious, often debilitating psychological defense mechanism. When you're in denial, you:

• Refuse to acknowledge a stressful problem or situation
• Avoid facing the facts of the situation
• Minimize the consequences of the situation

Denial is an unconscious process.

When we are talking about addiction issues, denial, can be deadly. I often work with clients that experience denial on various levels. One person may have difficulty accepting that he/she is powerless over alcohol, but is able to see just how meth is killing his/her soul. Another client may believe that his/her codependent patterns and characteristics are manageable and is oblivious to the fact that his/her relationship is over; job has been terminated due to sleeping with the boss for a promotion, and the bank account is empty. Denial!

Don’t let denial keep you from the path of recovery. Get help if you aren’t sure if you are experiencing denial. Most often it takes a leap of faith and a tiny bit of trust to allow a close friend, therapist, or member of a 12 Step program to highlight the denial that you just can’t face. You are not alone. 

Sincerely, 

Topic Tuesday: Codependence

Codependence is a deeply rooted, compulsive behavior that is born out of a less than nurturing or abusive environment in childhood. A child’s emotional development may be stunted due to the lack of nurturance, love, guidance, support, and direction that his/her parents are supposed to impart on the child’s life.

As a result of growing up in this environment, a child develops into an adult who may display some or all of the characteristics outlined below. Codependents:

•         may not be aware of how they feel.
•         tend to fear and/or worry how others may respond to their feelings.
•        are not aware of their needs and wants.
•         have difficulty having fun.
•         judge themselves and/or others harshly.
•         are terrified of being left or abandoned
•         over react to changes over which we do not have any control.
•         are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
•        freely offer advice to others without being asked.

The major characteristics of codependence fall into four categories: control, compliance, low self-esteem, and denial. The fellowship of Codependents Anonymous has a self-evaluation tool. Talk with a therapist or attend a CoDA meeting for a safe place to explore your codependence.

Here is the link to the fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous.

Sincerely,

Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend! I hope that your week has been pleasurable. Let's get ready for the weekend by looking at some suggested activities for you to engage in.

Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction first got on my radar when I was watching Lifetime TV. The movie was based on the book and I loved it! It starred Sally Pressman from one of my favorite shows, Army Wives, so I was hooked from the moment it came on.

Sue William Silverman provides readers a look at sexual addiction from a woman's point of view. I quickly ordered the book after watching the movie.

Here's what I found on Amazon.com about this book:

This compelling story of recovery takes us through 28 days in an inpatient clinic for female sex addicts. Silverman explores the psychology of addiction on a deeply personal level, sharing her struggles with self-destructive tendencies and her desperate desire to be loved, no matter what the cost. Molested repeatedly by her father during her childhood, she realizes the connection between her sexual abuse and her desire to be loved by dangerous, inaccessible men. She finds she must come to terms with anger at her mother, who refused to recognize the sexual abuse of her daughters and intervene on their behalf. Candid, emotionally raw, often frightening, Silverman's account is never sugarcoated, and there are no happy platitudes or breezy success stories in it. It is deeply moving, however, and should inspire anyone going through a 12-step program, whether for sexual addiction or other conditions, and help addicts' friends and family members understand the journey their loved ones must travel in order to heal. Bonnie Johnston
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend! We are dedicated to bringing you important posts throughout the week. On the weekends, most of us get time to relax and enjoy our family and friends. I hope that is the case for you as well.

Weekend Retreat will bring you a new movie, book, or other related media that is pertinent to your recovery journey.  The goal is to have options for the weekend so you can stay focused on your recovery goals.

Recovery is 24/7 and we want to help you stay focused and sober from all your addictive behaviors. We are always open to suggestions for different media to present so leave a comment and let us know what your needs and wants are. Thank you!

In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.  

Facing Love Addiction ranks #8 on Amazon's best seller list of books on codependency. I have used this book in my counseling practice as a tool for clients to work through issues of codependence and love addiction. Pia's work is inspirational, thought provoking, and uplifting. It provides readers with hope for a new day.

The journal exercises allow for thorough exploration into your own addictive behaviors around relationships and love. Grammy Award winning Alanis Morisette discusses love addiction and Pia Mellody in this video. 

I think anyone, including celebrities, can benefit from reading this book. Take a look for yourself and let us know in the comments what your experience was with Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody.