Make It Count Monday: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Step Two:Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Higher Power works in mysterious ways and I cannot know all the ways that my Higher Power is working in my life. I do try to take note of the instances that stand out to me and today I got all the messages!

I have been faced with difficult decisions at work. I have struggled. I have lost sleep. I have wrung my hands. But ultimately, I knew that my Higher Power or "HP" would show me the way. I often got in my HP's way while trying to deal with work stress.

I tried to manage, control, and avoid multiple times over. Nothing was working. I felt insane. I prayed for guidance every night. This morning my prayers were answered.

I woke up from a nightmare that was chilling. I was pissed. I already had to get up at 4:30am to get to my 12 Step Meeting by 6pm, so any amount of lost sleep was precious. I couldn't rest after the dreaded nightmare. I got up and contemplated my next move.

Upon arriving at my 12 Step Meeting, I made a decision to stop suffering. I asked for some sign that I was making the right choice. I got out of my car, just like I do every Monday morning, and headed into my meeting. Suddenly, I got this sense to turn around. I did and my eyes couldn't believe what they saw. All the lights on my car were lit up including headlights and break lights.

WTF! I knew it wasn't; it was my Higher Power. My headlights only are operable if the knob is turned on from inside the car. I knew then that my HP was communicating with me. My HP supported my decision.

After sitting anxiously in my meeting, I went to work.  I went in to my office, fired up my laptop and called my best friend. As I was sitting on the phone talking to him I looked at my email and saw Today's Gift from Hazelden. It started with "Our Higher Power is in charge."

I immediately stopped doubting myself. I saw all the signs. I needed to stop and remember Step Two. I have believed in a Higher Power since entering recovery a year and a half ago. I worked Step Two over a year ago. Why was I having a hard time accepting? It's because I am human and I often want to believe I am in control.

With the help of Step Two and the Serenity Prayer, which I recited several times today, I have been able to take care of myself today by addressing my work issues. It was flipping hard work, but I pushed through and accomplished something that I knew I needed to do, but tried my damnedest to avoid.

I am not in control. Higher Power is.

I made my Monday count. How about you?

Sincerely,

Make It Count Monday: Step Two & Sanity

Good evening, everyone! It's Monday! Did you make it count? We are still focusing on Step Two for the month of February, which reads: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Last week, we talked about developing a relationship with a Higher Power. 

I thought we would focus on the concept of "sanity." 

To me, it means:

1. Having a peace of mind
2. Believing in the process of life
3. Being out of active addiction
4. Believing in myself
5. Understanding that I am not in control
6. Understanding that I don't have to be controlled. 

Working Step Two allowed me to see my side of the street and also Higher Power's side of the street. I can only control my part of the problems that life brings. It's a process, not an event. 

What does "sanity" mean to you?

Have a fantastic week. Stay safe, sane, and sober.

Sincerely, 

Make It Count Monday: Step Two & Higher Power

Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 

Working this step causes difficulty for most people entering in to recovery programs. Having a belief in a Higher Power is generally thought to have religious connotations, which is a big "hell no" for those of us who had religion shoved down our throats by our families of origin. Who would want to revisit the teachings we had learned to run away from. 

In my experience, I thought that a Higher Power was critical, judgmental, harsh, and punishing. At least that's what I heard while I sat in the pews at my family's Baptist church. Granted, I didn't want to be there in the first place. Nor did anyone explain to me what was being said. I guess I was expected to just know what it all meant. Well, I didn't. 

I spent many years staying in this judgmental space about religion and spirituality, so when I entered the rooms of recovery, I walked back out. Yes, I walked out thinking that there was no way I was going to put myself in harms way. I didn't want to be judged. I wanted to be loved. 

I am grateful that I had a therapist that kept on me to give the meetings a chance. As I sat in the rooms, I begin to hear powerful stories about what a Higher Power meant for others. I began to develop a sense of what a Higher Power could mean to me. 

One of the most powerful statements that I have heard about a Higher Power, which I have adopted in my therapy practice as well as my recovery practice is, "A Higher Power is greater than you and your parents." I got that loud and clear!! It made sense. 

I was no longer afraid. As a result of not being afraid, I began to recognize that I wasn't my own Higher Power, either. Eureka! Thank goodness for sharing in meetings. 

Check out this quick video by Robert Burney. He talks about Higher Power in his recovery.

I love this quote: "If everything happens for a reason, I don't have the power to screw up the plan!" Brilliant.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts about a developing a relationship with a Higher Power.

Learn more about Higher Power with these articles:

"A Higher Power for Atheists and Agnostics" by Roger Bissell http://www.rogerbissell.com/id11mm.html

"Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" http://www.bahaistudies.net/asma/12and12.pdf

"Sober For Thirty Years" by Jim Burwell http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaburwell30.html

Sincerely,

Step Two: The Facts

In January, we started the year off looking at Step One. We admitted we were powerless and that our lives were unmanageable and now Step Two has us coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves (I like to include 'and of our parents') could restore us to sanity.

I am all in for being restored to sanity! Step Two requires contemplation and gentleness with ourselves. It requires willingness to believe in something outside of ourselves. Haven't we been trying to manage our lives and ending up with all the unmanageable consequences? That's emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. Maybe, just maybe, we can begin to believe.

In the rooms of recovery, it is often said, "I don't believe in God." Step Two doesn't require a belief in God. The Twelve Steps are not about religion. You get to choose your own idea of a higher power. But for now, we just need to believe there is something greater. In Step Three, we make a decision.

I reflect back on my study of Step Two in the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and I wrote the following:

What does "came to believe" mean to me?
    "Came to believe" means having arrived at acceptance of my own powerlessness and unmanageability.

What does a "power greater than ourselves" mean to me?
     It means that as a unity, members of the recovery fellowships accept that a higher power, not another person or thing we try to control, is greater than us.

What does "restore us to sanity" mean to me?
    Higher Power brings us to serenity by accepting and loving us as we are, perfectly imperfect.

For today, what does "sanity" mean to me?
    Serenity. Peace. Calmness. Feeling all of my feelings.

How about you answer the questions for yourself?
1. What does "came to believe" mean to me?
2. What does a "power great than ourselves" mean to me?
3. What does "restore us to sanity" mean to me?
4. For today, what does "sanity" mean to me?

Stay true to your individual recovery. You can do it!

Sincerely,

Topic Tuesday: The 12 Steps of Recovery

The 12 Steps are the foundation of all anonymous programs. As summarized by the American Psychological Association, the process involves the following:

* admitting that one cannot control one’s addiction or compulsion;
* recognizing a higher power that can give strength;
* examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
* making amends for these errors;
* learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
* helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions

The Steps were pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935 and adopted by other fellowships including Codependents Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous.

Click the links for more information.

* Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable.
* Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
* Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
* Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
* Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
* Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
* Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
* Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
* Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
* Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
* Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
* Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I have been working the steps for some time now and I have to say that I do not believe I would be sober from my addictions without the program. The 12 Steps have provided guidance, support, and structure. It has been a worthwhile process to learn about the benefits of a spiritual program. I have developed a relationship with a power greater than myself and I feel safe.

I hope that you will take a look at The 12 Steps and find the courage, strength, and hope that I found by working the steps. Good luck. “It works if you work it.”

Sincerely,