Topic Tuesday: Spiritual Dilemma

I have done a lot of recovery readings over the last year and half since I enter the rooms. I often find it difficult to understand some of the material. One of the topics that was most puzzling to me was the concept of "spiritual dilemma".

I wasn't "spiritual" so how could I have a "dilemma"? Or was it, since I wasn't "spiritual" I must be in a "dilemma" because of the absence of spirituality? Geez! I was lost.

Twelve Step programs promote a belief in Higher Power and thus has a spiritual component. It has been said for decades in the rooms of recovery that one must believe in a power greater than oneself in order to recover. I was interested in recovering, but I wasn't so sure about the Higher Power as I talked about in an earlier blog post.

I continued to show up to the rooms and I began to learn why I was in a "spiritual dilemma". It was because I believed that everyone outside of myself was a power greater than myself and occasionally that I was greater than someone else. Control freak? Absolutely! Doormat? Most often!

My concepts didn't fit those of the program, thus the "dilemma".

In recovery, I have learned that I do not need to make another person my Higher Power. Nor do I need to become someone's Higher Power. I spend a lot of time communicating with my Higher Power. It's a rewarding experience to know that my Higher Power accepts me, flaws and all.

Are you in a spiritual dilemma? If so, how might you change your circumstances?

Sincerely,

Step Two: The Facts

In January, we started the year off looking at Step One. We admitted we were powerless and that our lives were unmanageable and now Step Two has us coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves (I like to include 'and of our parents') could restore us to sanity.

I am all in for being restored to sanity! Step Two requires contemplation and gentleness with ourselves. It requires willingness to believe in something outside of ourselves. Haven't we been trying to manage our lives and ending up with all the unmanageable consequences? That's emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. Maybe, just maybe, we can begin to believe.

In the rooms of recovery, it is often said, "I don't believe in God." Step Two doesn't require a belief in God. The Twelve Steps are not about religion. You get to choose your own idea of a higher power. But for now, we just need to believe there is something greater. In Step Three, we make a decision.

I reflect back on my study of Step Two in the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and I wrote the following:

What does "came to believe" mean to me?
    "Came to believe" means having arrived at acceptance of my own powerlessness and unmanageability.

What does a "power greater than ourselves" mean to me?
     It means that as a unity, members of the recovery fellowships accept that a higher power, not another person or thing we try to control, is greater than us.

What does "restore us to sanity" mean to me?
    Higher Power brings us to serenity by accepting and loving us as we are, perfectly imperfect.

For today, what does "sanity" mean to me?
    Serenity. Peace. Calmness. Feeling all of my feelings.

How about you answer the questions for yourself?
1. What does "came to believe" mean to me?
2. What does a "power great than ourselves" mean to me?
3. What does "restore us to sanity" mean to me?
4. For today, what does "sanity" mean to me?

Stay true to your individual recovery. You can do it!

Sincerely,

Step One: The Power of Attending Meetings & Prayer

Battling addictions can be an exhaustive process that can leave you feeling hopeless and scared. The power of the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, etc., provides hope and encouragement.  

Attending meetings may be scary at first, but once you sit down and listen to others share their courage, strength, and hope, you will come to see that you are not alone. Recovery doesn't have to be an isolative process.  

Opening up about your experience brings a sense of belonging among group members. Often times, group members meet afterwards for Fellowship at a local coffee shop or diner. Here, you can talk about who you are, where you're from, where you want to go, anything! Building connections with others opens new, healthier avenues. You will learn what it means to be a part of a community that is loving and forgiving. That's something that addicts don't always know is available.  

You may also find solace in prayer. Some may believe that "God" or "Higher Power" doesn't really exist or want to help, but that's the addict controlling the situation. You get to decide what type of relationship you have with a power greater than yourself. Till then, look to the Serenity Prayer or First Step Prayer for guidance.  

Serenity Prayer

God (Higher Power), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.  

First Step Prayer 

Today, I ask for help with my addiction. Denial has kept me from seeing how powerless I am and how my life is  unmanageable. I need to learn and remember that I have an incurable illness and that abstinence is the only way to deal with it. 

Sincerely,