Topic Tuesday: Sex & Love Addiction

Like codependence, sex and love addiction is a process addiction. Sex and love are primitive concepts that are natural and normal. A person may be considered a “sex and love addict” if he or she uses sex, love, and/or relationships as tools to escape painful feelings or augment pleasure. These behaviors become addictive in nature: powerlessness and unmanageability spread throughout.  A sex and love addict may be a person who engages in:

•        compulsive masturbation
•         obsessive porn viewing
•         anonymous sex
•         emotional dependency on another
•         obsessive fantasy

As a recovering sex and love addict, I can say that the process of uncovering all the behaviors I was powerless over was shocking and mind numbing. I had recognized early on that my life seemed somewhat unmanageable, but with new information I learned from my sponsor in CoDA and my therapist, I became willing to see how dysfunctional my life truly was.

I found help in the rooms of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Here, I was able to sit amongst fellow sex and love addicts and it was as if they all had my life. I wasn’t unique. After my first meeting I sat down and took a 40 question self-assessment and my life changed forever and for the better. 

I got a clear picture of my life and my struggles. I also recognized that I could recover. I just had to do the work. I am grateful for the program of SLAA and CoDA. They helped save my life. I hope you find what you are needing in this moment.

Check out the fellowship of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

Sincerely, 

Weekend Retreat

Welcome to the weekend! I hope that your week has been pleasurable. Let's get ready for the weekend by looking at some suggested activities for you to engage in.

Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction first got on my radar when I was watching Lifetime TV. The movie was based on the book and I loved it! It starred Sally Pressman from one of my favorite shows, Army Wives, so I was hooked from the moment it came on.

Sue William Silverman provides readers a look at sexual addiction from a woman's point of view. I quickly ordered the book after watching the movie.

Here's what I found on Amazon.com about this book:

This compelling story of recovery takes us through 28 days in an inpatient clinic for female sex addicts. Silverman explores the psychology of addiction on a deeply personal level, sharing her struggles with self-destructive tendencies and her desperate desire to be loved, no matter what the cost. Molested repeatedly by her father during her childhood, she realizes the connection between her sexual abuse and her desire to be loved by dangerous, inaccessible men. She finds she must come to terms with anger at her mother, who refused to recognize the sexual abuse of her daughters and intervene on their behalf. Candid, emotionally raw, often frightening, Silverman's account is never sugarcoated, and there are no happy platitudes or breezy success stories in it. It is deeply moving, however, and should inspire anyone going through a 12-step program, whether for sexual addiction or other conditions, and help addicts' friends and family members understand the journey their loved ones must travel in order to heal. Bonnie Johnston
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.