Topic Tuesday: Sex & Love Addiction

Like codependence, sex and love addiction is a process addiction. Sex and love are primitive concepts that are natural and normal. A person may be considered a “sex and love addict” if he or she uses sex, love, and/or relationships as tools to escape painful feelings or augment pleasure. These behaviors become addictive in nature: powerlessness and unmanageability spread throughout.  A sex and love addict may be a person who engages in:

•        compulsive masturbation
•         obsessive porn viewing
•         anonymous sex
•         emotional dependency on another
•         obsessive fantasy

As a recovering sex and love addict, I can say that the process of uncovering all the behaviors I was powerless over was shocking and mind numbing. I had recognized early on that my life seemed somewhat unmanageable, but with new information I learned from my sponsor in CoDA and my therapist, I became willing to see how dysfunctional my life truly was.

I found help in the rooms of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Here, I was able to sit amongst fellow sex and love addicts and it was as if they all had my life. I wasn’t unique. After my first meeting I sat down and took a 40 question self-assessment and my life changed forever and for the better. 

I got a clear picture of my life and my struggles. I also recognized that I could recover. I just had to do the work. I am grateful for the program of SLAA and CoDA. They helped save my life. I hope you find what you are needing in this moment.

Check out the fellowship of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

Sincerely, 

Weekend Retreat

I began my recovery journey with the help of all the books by Pia Mellody. She is an expert on codependence, addiction, and recovery. In her book, The Intimacy Factor, Pia gives readers insight into dealing with relationships: what makes them and what breaks them.

I highly recommend this book if you are looking to understand relationship dynamics. Being in a relationship while in recovery can be very tricky if you don't have an understanding of the basics: boundaries, communication, expectations, and respect. Don't go it alone. Give this book a good read and take notes. My copy is highlighted. :)


In 2013, I saw one of the best movies on addiction, "Thanks for sharing". It is a phenomenal movie starring Hollywood heavy weights, Mark Ruffalo, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Tim Robbins. The movie shares the emotional and psychological ups and downs of several folks in recovery for sex addiction.

It shows how individuals in recovery groups can find the family that we often don't have before recovery. The movie is fun, funny, compassionate, and endearing. I love all the characters and storylines. Invite some friends over and give it a view!

Whatever you decide to do this week, do something fun, relaxing, and on the path of recovery.

Sincerely,